Chasing

I have cried over and over about the same person. You have seen me in shamblesrepeatedly over some guy.

“…What do I do, God?” I said. “He doesn’t like/love me back.” I prayed about this over and over everyday with dedication. If I was God I would have been tired of my daughter asking me the same question over and over again: ” Is this my husband, father, can you make it so? Yes? He’s the one?!??”
But the answer has never been as clear as “NO.” I’ll ask later. He looks too good on Christian paper. That would be a shame to let go of.

The real shame would be to pine and pine after someone who doesn’t or cannot love you back. It’s a waste of time and I know it. But still I can’t help but desire and lust after it. I know I have to let go.
This guy makes a horrible god. I’m not going to be stuck here idolising and chasing a broken cistern that never held a drop of love for me.
God says, “It’s you I seek. Why don’t you come to me. I will love you more. I will love you with an everlasting love.”

The sad truth is that people being imperfect, being weak, will somehow always let you down. But God will never fail us. He is faithful. Let us not forget that.

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