Before I began the new season of my life, I had spent days and days crying and mourning the loss of someone I had chosen to let go of. The pain gripped me everyday. I could not stop blaming myself for what I had done. It was one thing to be angry with others. Like you, I’ve been let down so many times. It was even harder for me to let others down, especially myself. One night in prayer I could not breathe because I had been crying. The pain was just overwhelming.
The Spirit of God spoke to my heart and said:
It’s time to be at peace with yourself and what you’ve done;
No more crying. No more hurting and no more suffering.
Here is the poem I wrote in response:
Let it out, let it go and just let God.
Let Go and let God,
Let Go and let God.
I never could understand those words…
It’s hard to say that it’s “better that way”
that “it is what it is” and
what is is will stay
Being what is meant to be meanwhile
Freeing my mind From the Anger, Hatred, and Fear
Because all of it is toxic to I and I
cannot hold my hand through all of it and all the time;
The struggle is mine, I told you
I am grown and I can deal on my own
I’m tryna let it out and let it go and I just let God;
Let go and let God,
Let go and Let God,
let go–but I don’t know how to let go and forgive my wrongs
For I’ve held on for so, so long
and I need release, I need peace
I wanna be at ease
Please help me let go, let it all go.
As the wind blows…
and I watch the seasons go, the rivers flow
that I shall grow and I will come to know
is just another stepping stone.
That I am never truly alone
But with the Most High
with a God’s eye view from the throne in the sky
and from the inside.
Eternal guide. Though I trip I shall not fall nor slide.
Tears dried; broken pride; new stride and
sunny, clear blue skies.
Eyes open: see the lies and the blessings coming, going;
Letting go and letting God.